Tuesday, May 15, 2012


Great news - 
My new oncologist is pretty awesome and immediately agreed with me that I should NOT be on Tamoxifen right now.  She has given me her approval to take at least 3 months off, at which point we'll meet again and re-evaluate!  I was soooo happy about that!  And after a little over a week with no Tamoxifen, I felt so much more "alive" - I was happy and chatty at work like never before, and in a 24-hour period, I did 90 mins of trapeze, walked about 1.5 miles, did a circuit of the exercise machines at the YMCA, and a little bit of swimming.

Today, I had minor gynecological surgery to figure out what the Tamoxifen was doing to my uterus.  My surgeon removed "numerous" polyps, which appeared benign to her, but we won't officially have the biopsy results for a week.  I'm grateful that the surgery went so well, but I'm majorly frustrated that cancer-related stuff is once again taking up so much of my time and energy.  I'm missing two days of work plus two trapeze sessions.

The hardest part of the day, actually, was the fasting.  I was under strict orders not to eat anything past midnight last night, and not to drink anything at all other than water today.  My surgery wasn't until 3:10 PM, then I didn't get home until 7 PM, so that meant over 11 waking hours with no food or coffee.  I was quite hypoglycemic and miserable because of it.  Waiting in pre-op, they offered me TV, but I turned it off because the pizza and granola bar commercials made me want to throw the remote.

The pasta and sauteed swiss chard and mushrooms A made for me for dinner tonight tasted like the best food I've ever eaten.  I savored that bowl of pasta for a good half hour.  And I had a big mug of heavenly delicious coffee, at 7:30 PM, not giving a damn if it will keep me up tonight.  There's always ibuprofen PM, right? :) 

Oh, and more good news - my iron levels are improving.  My hemoglobin is now up to 12, instead of 9!  Today, my blood pressure was low/normal, my pulse was good, my temp was good, and my oxygen saturation was 100%.  I'm sick of hearing about the abnormal stuff, so it helps to have a whole list of normal/good things like this, even if they're little things.  It helps to remember that there's more about my body that is working wonderfully and perfectly, than there are problems with my body... even when it seems like the problems are all that get focused on.  You know?  Maybe my uterus is having problems, I'm anemic, I've had two cancers, and I have ongoing Repetitive Stress Injury pain from too much typing, mild allergies and asthma, and undiagnosed digestive problems... but besides that, I have a great heart, good liver and kidney function, excellent eyesight, all of my body parts, normal hearing and smell and taste and touch, an excellent brain, a good body to trapeze with, pretty good lungs, and lots of other well-functioning body parts and systems inside of me.  All of that stuff that most of us take for granted if it's working well.  Tonight A and I watched "Soul Surfer," the movie about the teenage girl who had her arm bitten off by a shark and still lives a wonderfully happy life and achieved her dream of being a professional surfer.  I'm grateful for my arms and all of the rest of my good, healthy body.

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