Sunday, November 29, 2009


Hi friends 'n fam!
Here is just one example of how you/your love & support help me EVERY DAY!

For years, I have been sleeping with a bed full of STUFF - books that touch my heart, various crystals and rocks, stuffed animals, photos & cards & letters & etc. under my pillow...
This is what my bed currently looks like (I hope these photos are working!):

The whole bed is from Ana; the cozy sheets are from Tina, Alaia, and Maialen; the frog reminds me of Tammie; the (now broken!) sparkle ring is from Bronwyn; the Lapis Lazuli blue stone (that blends in with the sheets, oops) is from Leah; the Miss Piggy pillow case reminds me of private jokes with Grace ("Tough guy, tough guy!!"); the pink, lavendar-filled eye pillow is from Deena; the poster above my bed is full of wonderful messages from Supriya, Sage, Zoe, Marta'elena, Shawna, Erica, and Anneka; and not in the frame is the Haudenosaunee Thanksgiving Address booklet (from the Gathering in Gratitude play I did with Luz Elena, Heather, Lisa, Radha, Jahnavi, Stephanie, Amy, and lots of people!), and it's not in the frame because it fell in that space between the wall and the bed. Also lost somewhere in that space are my MichFest bracelets, to remind me of times with my fest sisters.

The books: Wise Child, my favorite book in the world; the Tao te Ching (that is, one of the 100+ translations); Audre Lorde's The Cancer Journals (not only relevant, but also a reminder of my happy days with Corinn and my Women's Studies friends); and The Lesbian Tent Revival Sermons by Carolyn Gage, one of the best parts of Michfest for me.

And of course there's my obnoxious-but-loving cat, Maru, and I sleep in pajamas that used to be my sister's.

And here's what's currently under my pillow:

Printouts of lots and lots of supportive, inspiring, loving emails and FB messages from ALL OF YOU! So I can read your words when I'm feeling down, and soak it all in all night! Oh, and a photo I printed that makes me laugh every time I look at it, for it captured an amazingly sillycrazyhyper moment with Those Who Shall Remain Nameless. YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE! ;)

Thank you, friends and family!!


  1. the only thing that's missing is suzanne actually doing the sprinkler dance. i don't think that fits in your room.


    i was at the beach today, i thought of you. I wished i had a jar to put sand and shells in to bring to you.

  2. HAHA! maybe suzanne will let me take a picture of her doing the sprinkler dance, and i can put that on my wall!

    oh cool, what beach? that's awesome. i hope you had a good time!! i'm going to the cape tomorrow (for dental work, ha), and it's supposed to rain all day, but i'll go to the beach anyway. i can't NOT.

  3. Hey Britta

    Thinking of you. Did you ever find out the results of your MRI? That is crazy that no one has called you yet. I found out the next day. (Rare to find out so soon, but that's how they do things down at Baystate Comprehensive Breast Center). I would call your doctor at Brat Mem and talk to his nurse. She should be able to tell you. Demand to be told. Talk to a supervisor if no one is helping you.

    Or, you can call the information desk, and ask to speak to someone in MRI imaging, and they can point you in the right direction. The other thing to do is call your doc at the new hospital. They probably forwarded the results to her.

    Has anyone talked to you about a Jackson Pratt drain yet (I think that's what they're called)? Take a look on my blog and search for "drain". I don't know, but you might end up with a drain after surgery. I only had mine for about a week and it was a drain. Ha Ha. It looks like one of those squeezy things they use to puff up a blood pressure cuff. It suctions out any extra fluid at the surgery site. That part is attached to a thin plastic tube, which comes out from your body - EGADZ - and starts at the surgical site. You have to empty the drain I forget how often, but when you no longer get any fluid or under a certain amount, then it is removed. When they remove it, they just pull out the tube. Some women say it hurt upon removal, I didn't feel a thing.

    I read that you've received a bill from the new hospital. So stressful, I know, even if you don't have to pay it. To avoid that additional stress, I suggest that before you have any procedure at all, check with the facility to be sure they have your insurance information first. And check to be sure they are in your insurance network. I'm still getting a bill for about $500 for a doc consult in Boston, because no one told me they were out of network prior to the appointment. I needed to get prior-authorization, but NO ONE TOLD ME. I also have a bill for about $4,000 from the same place for the first stereotactic biopsy, but for some reason it stopped arriving on my doorstep. You can also enlist the oncology social worker to help you with this problem. Have you talked with the oncology social worker at the New Hospital yet? I would touch base with her to get on her radar.

    Glad you're on the Cape. I wish I were too. And glad you're feeling the rainbow of emotions that comes with this diagnosis. So important to love and nurture yourself through every moment as best you can. And, hurray that you know how to ask for help!!! You're amazing.

    Love you,

  4. Those Who Shall Remain Nameless! ha ha! :D have a sweet time at the beach...the very idea of sand and shells is so wonderful, even if it's just for a little while... xoxoxo cathryn