Tuesday, November 17, 2009

night

This week I've been staying up at least an hour later than I used to, even when I'm really tired. My body is so so ready to go to sleep... but my mind won't shut off. I procrastinate with actually getting under the covers and turning off the light, to avoid being alone in the dark with my thoughts. I try to relax my body and breathe slowly and drift off to dreamland, but it's more like:

Deep breath in.......deep breath out..... tomorrowihavetocalldoctorEtohaveherwritemeareferralsoinsurancewillcover -
deep breath in......relax....deep breath out.... deep breathing.....
didiplugmycellphoneinbecausethebattery -
breathe in.....breathe out.....breathe......
iwonderifsurgerywillbeindecemberorjanuarybecauseifihavetomissworki -
breeeaaattthhheee.......
ohshitiforgottotaketheseconddoseofmushroomcapsu -
DEEP BREATH....DEEP BREATH....
howbigismyscargoingtob -
BREATHE... DEEP BREATH IN...
idontknowifi -
DEEP BREATH OUT... AND IN....
butwhatif -
Breathe....
isthe -
breathe......
i -
ZZZZZZZzzzzz

2 comments:

  1. aww Britta...my mind does that too, similar pattern...i also stay up too late sometimes just to be able to reliably go to sleep, it's been many years like that. i empathize! <3 cathryn

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